from now on i will be protecting my posts...soo if you wanna be on the list let me now.<333
 mood:: shit....
okay i wrote this last nite at 10:03pm in my room..
omg its times like this i wish i had a computer in my room.so i could update when i feel like shit.or i don't need to go downstairs and see ppl that i don't wanna.
i don't even know what happened really..!!?!?all i remember is i was in my bed tryin to sleep then my mom is callin me to come downstairs.and we started talkin about the whole things thats goin on with me and my sister. then all of a sudden out of the blue my mom is like and lauren says ur still cuttin i was like nooo. well ok i cut like a week ago...and shes like o..i was likw will u hold on for a fuckin second?and i told her yea i was fine for like a month then u had to piss me off after xmas and i cut..and then she started asking me questions..and then i flipped out. i guess its a really deep ssubject for me b/c i started crying. and i walked away and screamed on the top of my lungs "i'm tired'.!and all i could hear is my mom callin me back.but i couldn't.and i went to my room and got under my covers and broke down. i bet lauren's happy, thats just want she wanted to see.i swear i was soo close to cutting but i cryed instead.and that sucked more.i wasn't even sad, i had no idea y i was crying.i guess i was just so fustrated.i was crying and i was punching the shit out my leg and the bed, and i was kinda straching at my face.i know i sound psycho but i really am not..its just days like that.. but anyways..i just lost it.
i can't talk/talk about cutting w/o gettin upset most the times..i mean i can talk about it with my friends fine.but when my mom talkes to me about it i get angry.i dunno why?!?
but i don't know why my mom cares.i mean most my cuts are from her.she never cared b4.fuck it.!!.!she knows how hard it is for her to stop drinking well its that hard for me to stop cutting.but i am tryin my hardest and last nite it seems i did pretty fuckin good.
i think i am stopping xanga.my sister and her friend are starting to much shit over this.i love you guys more then anything but i really don't know what to do..i am sorry.
pics of honestly how i feel today like shit...
 drained..
 
 thanks for makin me feel this way....everyone knows who this goes out too
my friend told me to make my xanga private...soo i think i might just do that if i still see them lookin at my xangaps i lost 5 more lbs...now i am at 150 and i wanna lose 5 more..!!!my goal weight is 145lb
| HEATHER |
| H |
is for |
Hip |
| E |
is for |
Excellent |
| A |
is for |
Alluring |
| T |
is for |
Tricky |
| H |
is for |
Helpful |
| E |
is for |
Easy |
| R |
is for |
Radical |
| I Miss You by Blink 182 |
"The unsuspecting victim
Of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me"
You grew up a lot in 2004. And it was mostly a very good thing. |
It's Not Sex. It's ... :
Riding the Hobby Horse
| Share your sex name easily by copying the code below. Post it on your online journal, blog, profile page, or website. Discuss with your friends 
    
    
    
    
    
    
| 
dewey..lol i love me sum dewey...hes sooo cute
seee i am crazy
lmfao
can't see me...
i was crackin up
thats me
the green one<333
im gonna miss my baby
bonnie is weird...=/
puppies eat weird things
seee..lol.
great movie soo fuckin funny
